For few days I was very seriously wondering what one need at advanced age of say… post 60 or so. If health permits you really are engaged, but post 65 how one looks at world around, family, friends, society and for that matter finance and health. I find no strong answers for all above mentioned expectations.
I used the word expectations intentionally because almost everyone puts it as a very personalized factor and needs. Coming to a lady who was housewife and made her home throughout her life, what she looks as expectations. She unlike her spouse, if alive, does not have source of money provided she was a working person in her adult days. Her every needs, may be rational or irrational, are fulfilled by asking for money from spouse, children or may be someone close to her.
I wonder what might be undergoing in her mind with such helplessness. Once she presided over the affairs of home management and now she might be finding herself at the mercy of those who are today least concerned. Mind you, this applies for both the gender where an aged man also find in the same situation though he still is in a position to contribute. But women who were non working find themselves very very bewildered. On the top, if there is some irreversible health reasons then the mind goes into wild or may be real spiderweb brooding over non existing fear or may be real one.
This is very very common old age syndrome with no solutions in my opinion. Often it is said change and adopt. Is it really possible at this age? People suggesting such advises may sound to be practical but irrational behavior is established factors in psyco social settings. Life makes worst to ugly turns.
Then is there any. …anything which can be offered. …even if it is momentary, which may make a difference. If you ask me, and I am of that age…
My views on needs at advanced age are…
- Lack of talks makes things worst. Even if it turns into hot discussions, let it be, it will comeback to normal.
- Respect is another thing, it matters. Just giving a sense of being respected and respectful.
- Most important is Happiness even if it is momentary. Happiness of any kind. Smile a little, good dose of happiness.
- For women. …sense of financial independence of even little freedom. Let her feel within this no one should question her.
- She may also insist for acceptance of very irrational things or situations, …difficult proposition. …just silence and helping hand of a little compromise. Why I used this word compromise. …we do not know whether we will see next morning together again or not.
- Lastly from younger ones, who are today what they are, because of those irrational older ones. …remember they have a feeling of helplessness and ignored. And the younger lots are also walking towards same situation. Tolerate. …they may not be around next day.
Today I was forced to write this blog due to some real life observations. Feel free to share your observations in the comments below.
Milan sinha, aged 73 years plus and an amateur blog writer, was born in Bihar and brought up in Ranchi with modest education to the level of Post Graduate, added with few advanced Management skills programs training in XLRI, Administrative Staff College, Hyderabad and IIM Indore. He has a rich experience of 50 years in Pharma Marketing, in which 22 years of Cancer Management and Patients Counseling. Now free lancing Pharma Marketing Consultant in Oncology.