Many parents complain that children no longer listen to them. Before blaming the younger generation, perhaps it is time to ask whether we have done enough to pass on the values we expect them to uphold.
Today, whenever we gather with friends, relatives, or acquaintances, one concern almost inevitably comes up: “Children no longer listen to us.” Many feel that the opinions of friends, teachers, or social media influencers carry more weight than those of parents and grandparents.
This is not merely a family issue. When we see growing indiscipline, insensitivity, selfishness, or a decline in ethical behaviour around us, we often remark, “Things are not what they used to be.” Such observations naturally lead to an important question: Are we, as elders and parents, partly responsible for this situation?
After all, every young person is shaped by a family environment. If values appear to be weakening, it is worth asking whether something was missing in the process of nurturing them.
Children learn far more from what they see than from what they are told. The home is their first school, and parents are their first teachers. If we ourselves do not practise honesty, patience, respect, discipline, and empathy, it becomes difficult to expect children to embrace these qualities.
One of the biggest shortcomings is the lack of role models. Children closely observe how adults behave. When they see us bending rules, speaking harshly, or acting inconsistently, they absorb those lessons more readily than any advice we offer.
Another challenge is the shortage of time. Modern life is demanding, and many parents struggle to spend meaningful time with their children. While material needs are often met, emotional connection and regular conversations may be neglected. Values are not transmitted through gifts or facilities; they grow through relationships and dialogue.
A third issue is our excessive focus on achievement. We work hard to secure the best education and career opportunities for our children. While these aspirations are understandable, character development sometimes takes a back seat. Good grades and successful careers can make life comfortable, but strong values make life meaningful. At this point, I am reminded of the opening line of a song associated with the Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS): ‘In this sacred age of building and progress, let us not forget the building of character.’
The culture of display and comparison amplified by social media also plays a role. Children are constantly exposed to messages that equate success with wealth, popularity, and visibility. If families also place disproportionate emphasis on these markers, qualities such as humility, service, compassion, and gratitude may gradually lose importance.
At the same time, it would be unfair to place the entire responsibility on parents and elders. Today’s children are influenced by peers, schools, digital media, entertainment platforms, and the broader social environment. The internet is often a more constant companion than family members. Values are therefore shaped by many forces, not just by the home.
What, then, is the solution?
The answer lies not in blame, but in example. Children learn values when they see them being practised. Spending time with them, listening patiently, sharing experiences, and living according to the principles we advocate are far more effective than lectures.
Values are not taught in a single lesson. They are nurtured over years through everyday actions, conversations, and choices.
Perhaps before criticising the younger generation, we should ask ourselves one simple question: Are we setting the example we wish our children to follow? An honest answer to that question may help us rebuild the very values we fear are disappearing.
Author
The author is the founder of the Never Say Retire mission. In order to achieve this goal, he also runs this website and his Facebook group Never Say Retire Forum has Hundreds and Thousands of members today.
