Today, I came across a journalist’s post on Twitter, and reading it left me deeply disturbed. The journalist wrote about meeting an eighty-year-old man whose wife had passed away ten years ago. Both of his children live in the United States. He had not even met his son for the past four years. The journalist rightly remarked that in such situations, one begins to wonder—why have children at all if they are to live so far away?
In the final years of life, everyone hopes to have their children around them. One never knows when a need may arise. Even to visit a doctor or go to a hospital, one needs someone by their side. Having plenty of money does not make everything easy.
Let me share another strange and unsettling incident. In a posh colony in South Delhi, an elderly man lived alone in a large house. His wife had passed away a few years earlier. After completing his studies, his son moved to the United States for work, got married there, and settled permanently.
In the early years, the son would visit his parents with his family. Gradually, those visits became less frequent. After the mother passed away, the son stopped coming altogether. Yes, he regularly sent sufficient money from the United States for his father’s living expenses. But as age advanced and illness set in, the elderly man had to manage everything on his own. The situation reached a painful extreme when he passed away. A neighbor informed the son in the United States and expected him to say that he would take the next flight home so that the last rites could be performed in his presence. Instead, the neighbor was shocked when the son replied, “Please go ahead and perform the last rites. Let me know the expenses—I will transfer the money immediately.”
Such stories are not uncommon in big cities. Initially, parents compete to give their children the best education—admitting them to the finest schools, ensuring higher studies, and eventually helping them secure jobs abroad. They proudly speak of their children earning salaries worth lakhs of rupees (converted from dollars). They feel immense pride in their children’s achievements. Every year, they visit them and stay for months. They even travel abroad during the birth of grandchildren to support their children.
But as time passes and age increases, reality begins to set in. The children and their families are reluctant to come back to India, and the parents, due to advancing age, are unwilling to relocate abroad.
These situations have now become very common. If you observe the lives of elderly people around you, you will find many such cases. Many do not even hesitate to spend their final years in old age homes. If money is not a constraint, there are excellent facilities available—offering companionship, recreation, and complete healthcare support. We have gradually changed ourselves so much that we no longer even consider this situation unusual or troubling.
On that same tweet, someone made a very practical remark: today’s generation should accept this reality. People in their forties and fifties should start planning from now that they may have to live independently in old age. Considering the option of staying in an old age home may also be wise.
Looking at these circumstances, it seems that the demand for old age homes will increase significantly in the coming years. For those involved in real estate, this may even appear as a promising opportunity.
There is, however, another perspective that deserves serious thought. Living in a joint family can help avoid many of these challenges. But now, we must also reflect—what do we truly mean by a joint family when families today often have only one or two children?
Author
The author is the founder of the Never Say Retire mission. In order to achieve this goal, he also runs this website and his Facebook group Never Say Retire Forum has Hundreds and Thousands of members today.
