In the past two years, I have written two articles on friendship and its indispensability in old age. Today, once again, I felt inspired to write on the same subject. This time, the reason was a piece of news I came across in a WhatsApp group. A reputed American business magazine reported that, compared to 1990, four times as many American adults today say that they have no close friends. At the same time, the number of people who had more than ten friends has also been falling sharply.
These figures may be from America, but the reality is not much different in India. If we look around, we can see the same pattern gradually emerging in our society. Friendships that once lasted a lifetime—rooted in trust, shared experiences, and support—are now too often reduced to matters of convenience and personal gain.
Friendship in Modern Times
Among today’s younger generation, many relationships seem to be based on some kind of give-and-take. Someone is there for company at a party, someone else for business assistance, another for career benefits. Such bonds may last a short while, but they rarely endure through the long journey of life.
Social media has certainly made it easier to form new connections, but this ease often comes at the cost of depth. One may gain new “friends” every day, but the real question is: how many of them would be willing to stand by us in difficult times? Far more valuable than hundreds of names on a friend list is that one old companion who has shared our joys and sorrows over the years.
This raises an important question for all of us: How many of us still keep in touch with our childhood or college friends? Do we check in on them from time to time, or have we gradually let these old relationships fade into oblivion?
The Beauty of Old Friendships
Friendships among the older generation still appear unique. Many people can be found whose bonds of friendship have lasted seven or eight decades, since childhood. Such relationships mature over time and remain steady through every high and low of life.
There may have been differences, or periods of distance, but patience, forgiveness, and the willingness to reconnect have kept these bonds alive. Such relationships are only broken when a friend departs from this world.
For seniors, these friends become a true support system. As families shrink and children live far away, it is these old companions who share moments of laughter, provide comfort in times of grief, and help relive the long stories of life.
Shrinking Families, Growing Need
The structure of families is changing today. Joint families are now rare. In such a scenario, the later years of life are often filled with loneliness.
This is precisely where friendship becomes even more important. Friends may not replace family, but they certainly provide support. They stand by us without expectations, listen without judgment, and bring laughter without conditions.
A Message for the Youth
It is crucial to understand that true friendship is not built in a day, nor does it become deep all of a sudden. It must be nurtured—with patience, empathy, forgiveness, and a spirit of togetherness.
By the time one reaches old age, forming new deep friendships becomes nearly impossible. Each individual is set in their habits and lifestyle, making adjustment to new bonds difficult.
That is why I urge the youth: make good friends today. Give them your time. Stay in touch despite your busy schedules. Stand by them not only in celebration but also in adversity. Make new friends, yes, but treasure the old ones. For it is they who will be the true wealth of your golden years.
Perhaps it was with this truth in mind that it was said: “We need old friends to help us grow old, and new friends to help us stay young.”
Author
The author is the founder of the Never Say Retire mission. In order to achieve this goal, he also runs this website and his Facebook group Never Say Retire Forum has Hundreds and Thousands of members today.
